Change

A few may have noticed the changes to my blog, if you haven’t, you’ll probably go and look now out of curiosity… Maybe…

In any case… I changed the overall look, edited my about (I’ll redo it completely soon), and the totally annihilated of all of my posts except a few…

Why change the look?

To be honest, I never really liked the theme I had before… I don’t really love this one either. I haven’t been able to find one that “fits” me yet. So be prepared, it might change again in the near future if I happen upon one I like better.

You edited your “about” page, why?

Because I have changed, my life has changed, a lot has changed. The other reason will be covered below…

Why delete all of your posts??? Are you crazy???

I have learned a valuable lesson. The way the internet is now… It seems like there are 10 or more rotten people to every 1 good person.

The internet has become a cruel place filled with trolls and nasty people hiding behind their monitors, pounding out nasty messages on their keyboards to people they don’t even know. I think by now, everyone that is reading this has had at least a dozen encounters with these types of people. Especially if you are active at all on any social media platform.

The thing is… I am a gamer. A gamer that made a mistake. I liked my ign (in game name) so much, that I use it as my online alias… Everywhere… You can easily find me… Everywhere.

Why is that a bad thing?

Because people that hate me can easily find me. I poured my heart out on this blog. I made myself bare ass naked for all to see. This was another mistake of mine. When you have enemies, do not hand them a gun… In other words… Do not feed them information that they can use against you.

On that note… Never feed anyone enough information that they can hurt you. A friend today can become an enemy tomorrow. I have a thick hide… Things said to me have not affected me, but that doesn’t mean someone won’t ever be able to hurt me with the information I had on here. It all was too close to my heart. I don’t want anyone knowing all of my business regardless. In this aspect, I have changed. I no longer want to share my heart with the world, but it is for good reasons. I hope you can understand.

Something else that changed my mind about what I do and do not share is the fact that I have been accused of seeking attention with my disabilities and mishaps in life. Which has never been a goal of mine and never will be. One thing I am not is an attention whore. (Yes, I was called this because of my blog.)

So… What will you share now?

Moving forward I will still write about autism and how it affects people, gaming, sharing neat things I find, and short stories/dark poetry that I write. I might even share some of my photography. Basically… I will write/post whatever I want, being careful not to overshare as I’ve done in the past.

I want people to enjoy my blog and maybe learn something. I want to network with like-minded people. I don’t want people to be able to use it against me, nor think that I am using it just to seek pity and attention.

Never pity me. I am strong and I will always survive whatever comes my way.

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He tells her to cry…

She’s so sad. Every day she holds back the tears.

The tears want to escape but she smiles instead.

Sometimes she gets frustrated and angry because the tears won’t leave her alone. She snaps at everyone and pushes everyone away. Not wanting them to see the tears.

Yet he holds her. He holds her tight. He lets her feel and be herself. He knows she doesn’t like to cry, but he also knows it’s not good to hold back the tears.

He tells her to cry, and she balls her eyes out on his shoulder. Staining his sleeve with mascara as the sadness pours from her eyes.

Then she smiles and hugs him tight.

“Thank you, my Love, for loving all of me… Even my sadness.”

-Zeftaria

Sleep is her escape.

The girl is sad.

So very sad…

She wants to die. She wants to escape. But she also doesn’t want to die because she doesn’t want to hurt those around her. She can’t die because she loves.

So she sleeps instead.

Sleep is her escape.

-Zeftaria