I like routines. I am autistic and I find comfort in routine.
But I hit a deep dark depression and lost my routine… Then my lack of routine became my comforting routine. I know that sounds contradictory, but it’s what happened.
I want my life back and I’m here to reclaim it. This is why my blog has sat untouched. I think I started this blog before I was truly ready to. It freaked me out and overwhelmed me. Before I would have been super ashamed to admit that. I would rather quit and hide than admit that something so simple could throw me over the edge… Even now I contemplate erasing this whole thing and starting over, but I won’t. I can’t hide anymore, I refuse to run, I will stand my ground this time. I will get my life back. I will keep moving forward.
I will break the impossible. I will achieve the unthinkable. Period.
Posting this in all it’s unedited glory because if I don’t I will back out and won’t. And I’m not letting that happen. Anxiety can take a flipping hike!