Yesterday was a very long, hard, and heartbreaking day. I had to admit that I could no longer care for my brother.
I will not write details here, because I am big on respecting other people’s privacy. But yesterday I spent my entire day and most of the night at the hospital with my baby bro. I will share that he cut himself. He’s okay now, and has been deemed non-suicidal. He will receive the care now that he so desperately needs.
I thought I could help him… I really thought I could. I tried my hardest, I tried my best, but I just can’t. He is a handful with several issues. Issues that I am not equipped to handle. I love him dearly but I had to make this choice for the sake of my daughter and my health.
DCFS took guardianship and he is in a foster care home. They will get him the help he needs, medication if necessary, and provide education for him. He will get medical care and help with his health.
They will keep me updated about him, and after things calm down we can even visit him. So that makes me happy. I am heartbroken and sad that I couldn’t help him, but at the same time I am comforted and happy because I will get to visit him, he is safe, he is getting the care he needs, and I will be kept updated to make sure of all of the above.
Now I need to focus on my daughter, myself, and my college work. I will also have the time now to keep this blog current….
But I miss him. I miss his on going non stop talking, it’s so quiet without him… I miss his presence, and I miss his smile and hearing him laughing at a funny show while I’m trying to sleep. 😥
I love you Kota, and I hope that someday you can realize that this decision broke my heart, made you hate me temporarily, but that it is the best for you at this point. Know that I always and will forever love you!